Let Go Part 2
Well it’s been three weeks since I last wrote. Sorry it’s been that long. It has been a crazy three weeks with some very deep learning, and even now it’s a lot to wrap my mind around and put it into words. But I will surely do my best as I know that all of your prayers have been holding up our arms in victory. So where I left off on the last blog we were in Inglewood, CA which is southern L.A. and as we quieted our hearts and minds we knew we needed to head north. Northern L.A. is what had been on our hearts from the beginning. The Lord blessed an airbnb to open up in Glendale which is straight north of L.A. We stayed there for a week. Here the Lord continued to speak to our hearts to let it all go and to trust that He had it. Sounds simple and all, but Matt and I continued to look at the timeline in our minds as we knew how much money we had in the bank and that we needed to get a more permanent place to live. Matt needs a job and he can’t get a job without an address; and so many of the places out here won’t let you rent unless you have a job with a large income coming in. We kept staring at all these giants before us that seemed so impossible to get through and all we kept hearing from the Lord was to rest and trust. Well we had days that we would rest, but many days where the enemy would come in like a flood and knock us down again. I am so thankful to so many wonderful people who keep reaching out to us to encourage us and pray for us. Close to the end of the week in Glendale, the Lord led Matt and I both to an airbnb in North Hollywood. It was only like 7 miles from where we were, so we booked that place for a week. Now North Hollywood, is actually considered Los Angeles. Where as Glendale is not. As soon as you enter North Hollywood you can sense the difference in the atmosphere. It is thick with oppression. Matt and I battled a lot in the spiritual here. Matt has a friend out here from Sight and Sound who pastors a church and they very kindly invited us to their Thanksgiving dinner. They were all very sweet to us and we were so thankful to the Lord for people to be with in this new place. We continued to look for places to live, but absolutely nothing was opening up for us. So we began to ask the Lord do you really want us out here? Did we hear wrong. I asked the Lord if He would give me some kind of confirmation each day for the rest of the week, because I just needed that reassurance that we were where He wanted us. So it came to the end of the first day and still nothing from the Lord. I began to cry, just a daughter wanting desperately to hear from her heavenly Father. Shortly after I had two friends reach out through text saying they were thinking about me and praying. One of them continued to encourage me and I told her what I was going through. At the end of our conversation and right before I went to bed she felt led to share a song with us, Danny Gokey, You Haven’t Seen It Yet. This was the song that Matt and I listened to over and over back at the beginning of this year when the Lord really began to stir in our hearts about the coming change and He began to speak California to us. We also found out that the music video of it that we watched constantly was filmed in L.A. My friend said she had actually felt led to go back through our texts from earlier in the year and this song was one we had sent her to encourage her and she sent it back to us. My heart smiled so big. There was my confirmation. He was not remaining silent. He just wanted me to trust. And He had really been stretching Matt and I. The Lord continued to faithfully confirm and encourage me the rest of the week that we were where we were supposed to be. He began to speak to my heart, are you going to put into practice what I have been teaching you the last 12 years. Will you wait on me? Even when everything in your flesh makes you want to do the opposite. Even if it comes down to the last minute...Will you wait on my guidance? Whew how in my heart I want to, but it’s painful and my flesh does not like it. So we got to the end of our week in North Hollywood. Still no guidance on what to do next. We had been looking at airbnb’s and hotels and we weren’t finding much at all. With a big family like ours, it limits our options. There were some cheaper hotels back down south of L.A., but just really felt we were supposed to stay up north. It was the night before we were to check out of this airbnb and felt the Lord say let it go, don’t look anymore tonight. So I didn’t. I woke up the next morning, and I didn’t touch my phone to look for a place until 9:00. We were to check out at 10:00. I got on the airbnb sight and pushed the button and there was a place in Burbank, only 4 miles away, that would house all of us and was in our price range!! And it hadn’t been there the night before. It literally just showed up! I started shouting and roaring! God had faithfully provided! He pushed us to the very last minute, but He showed up! So we booked this place for a week. Now we knew that after this week we would be pretty close to the end of our bank account. We have money in stocks, but we had been praying and hadn’t had any clear direction on selling stock or how much, so we waited. We checked in to this airbnb on Friday. Matt went to a couple different church services this week. His friend, that’s a pastor out here, took him down to skid row to see the homeless and just how bad it is getting down there. But as far as a place to live, still nothing opening up. On Monday, it had come on my heart that there had to be some places out here that will do shorter leases. So I began to look around the area for short term leases. Most of the houses in the area want a year lease and by the time that you pay the first month rent and deposits you have to pay anywhere from $8,000-$10,000 just to get in to the place and that is no exaggeration. As I was looking the majority of them were apartments. I had peace about living in an apartment again (as long as we were on the bottom floor), because I know this is a season that we are in. It is not permanent, but a season. But when I woke up on Tuesday morning and we still didn’t have any further direction or guidance I began to struggle very much. Doubt that God would show up or come through flooded over me. I made a call to a place that stated they had short term leases, and they directed me to their sister property in North Hollywood. They said that we would need a 3 bedroom apartment with all of us. So I contacted this place and they said they did have a 3 bedroom available that had just opened up that day. I told her I had one requirement, that it was on the bottom floor, and it was. She also had a 2 or 6 month lease option available. So after talking to Matt we set up a time to tour the place the next day. I spent most of the evening in tears. Just sure that this door would get closed as well just like all the other doors had closed before us. I couldn’t see past this giant of doubt and fear that stood before me. What if God didn’t want us out here? What if we ran out of money? What if God didn’t show up and make a way? So as the tears were pouring down I sat on the floor and opened my journal. I started at the beginning and began to read all the things that I had written in the past year. All the ways that the Lord had showed up and led us to this point. And I reread about a time 12 years ago when the Lord had asked Matt to leave his job with New South. We needed $30 to pay our mortgage and we were going to be short. We prayed and prayed and that day a check for $800 came in the mail. This is a true story. It was a check from extra escrow since we had just bought the condo the year before. God had provided above and beyond. But, the part that really ministered to me was how Matt had said, that sure he could have stayed with New South and finished out the year and we would of had plenty of money until the Sight and Sound job opened, but because we went through this stretching of our faith we got to see God in a way that we wouldn’t have seen Him if Matt hadn‘t of taken that step of faith as the Lord led him to and left New South. We got to see God show up and provide and that is how we know Him as provider, because we experienced Him as provider. And as I read this the Holy Spirit began to minister to my heart that I was not even giving Him a chance to show up. In my mind and heart I was already counting Him out. Figuring that He wouldn‘t show up or come through. As I began to listen, then my heart began to lighten and the tears calmed. I woke up Wednesday morning much lighter. The Lord helped me to lay it all at his feet. I opened the Bible and this is where I opened to Psalm 22:3-5 “Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.” Except Matt’s version said they were not disappointed. When we trust in Him, He will NOT disappoint. This went straight to my heart. So we went to see this apartment. I prayed very much that we would know that we know if this was the place He wanted us and that if not His peace would consume us. So the Lord blessed us with favor with the manager right off the bat as she loved the kids and the kids were loving on her. She took us to the building and walked us to the door of the apartment and the apartment number was 111. I can’t remember if I’ve talked about this in a blog yet, but this whole year the Lord has been showing me 11’s everywhere and that it meant He is aligning things with His will and plan. So when I saw this I hit Matt and just began to laugh. That was all I needed. I didn’t even need to see the inside. That was my sign. So as we went in the space was very open. 3 bedrooms that were great size and all appliances included, which is a huge thing out here as many do not have them. We are right above the parking garage so that you don’t hear any footsteps of 5 little children running around. This apartment is also an end unit so we don’t have neighbors on every wall. There was a special going on where you could get $500 off your move in, and it was only $250 to hold the place, and she would even take our out of state check. She said and that won‘t even be cashed until the day you move in. We felt right away that this was it so we gave her the check. She typed up the 6 month agreement and to get into this place it would only cost us $2991.99!!!! That was a huge difference than what we had been seeing. Now we would need to contact our brother-in-law regarding our stocks, since we would have to have the money to get into this place, and we had been waiting on the Lord. As we were walking out of the building he called Matt. That was another confirmation that we were where we were supposed to be. Now we had to get all our utilities set up, renters insurance, the money in the account by Friday, and she had to approve our application with Matt having no income coming in from a job. Now one of the requirements to rent here is that you make 2.5x the amount of your rent in monthly income. That would be over $8000 a month in income. Yeah wow! So we set up all the utilities and renters insurance. The Lord blessed every door to open and not any money came out of our account except the application fee; which was good cause we only had a couple hundred dollars left. Then we sent her the application and copies of our financial statements and references. By 3:30 that afternoon she had given us the apartment!! She never even called our references and said our financial statements were fine! Now that is the Lord! Oh my heart was so thankful to see open doors, and to know that we are where He wants us to be. And wow did He stretch us to the very end. Now only one piece of the puzzle was left. We were to check out of the airbnb on Friday morning and move into our new place as long as the stock money had made it to our account on time. Of course on Thursday evening the enemy was trying with both Matt and I that the money would not make it there and we wouldn’t be able to move in on Friday. But before I went to bed I opened the Bible and this is where it opened, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts. Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain. And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of Grace, grace to it!” Zechariah 4:6-7. Amen. Thank you Jesus for bringing down those mountains before us! I woke up Friday morning around 6:00 a.m. and the money was there. Woohoo! We were in our new place by 10:30 that morning, keys in hand. He is faithful! Talk about suddenly. In just a moment in time, the Lord can turn around those impossible circumstances. On Tuesday I was heavied and consumed with hopelessness and by Friday morning the Lord had turned it all around. Those who put there trust in Him will not be put to shame. There is nothing too hard or impossible for Him. I know this has been a longer blog. I will try not to wait so long to update. Thank you for your continued prayers for us as we continue to seek what the Lord wants us to do while we are here. We love you all so very much and there are no words for how thankful we are for all the prayers. They are truly carrying us through.